Personal notes nothing important.

I have a long lay over in the ho chi min airport this afternoon and it has left me some time to think. I am about two thirds of the way through my trip and it has been really good for me so far. It was strange at first to be traveling alone for so long and I have to admit to sending tons of emails and pestering several friends while I have been away. But after some adjustments I realize that it has been good for me. For so many years I have just had my head down and working away at some irrelevant goal just trying to reach that end for its own sake. I sadly realized that I had lost all of my desire to do art, or anything creative at all for the last few years. Just in a state of trying to stay alive and make the next bill or some other bullshit. I am slowly coming back around. Taking time to look at things again for what they are and a little less concerned with the next marker. It is so strange to me that I went into commercial photography so that I could make a career out of being creative and it ended up stealing all of my creativity and left me as something of a husk. Maybe it was the fact that so much time was spent trying to develope something for other people more than for myself. So I have decided to do a couple of things when I return. I am signing up for serious classes in a foreign language and I am going to convert part of my basement into a studio/darkroom for creative projects. The other thing I realized from this trip was how much I missed traveling. All of the years i spent working with steve were fantastic. It was tough at times traveling so quickly and not getting a chance to stop and see things but the chance to see so many places in the world on someone elses dime was a great opportunity. As much as i have been burned out by commercial photography it saddens me to see it die as a profession. Replaced by computer terminals, shoots on white seamless and a feeling of being nothing more than an assembly line worker. But I suppose that's evolution. I am writing this mainly to remind myself later when I start to be a shit head again.......